Niki is here!

She is here! On my bed reading Catch-22!!!! WHAT EXCITEMENT. I didn't imagine those years upon years of friendship, she truly does exist.
Anyway- my soul is very happy for her presence and mostly everything feels good and in accordance at the moment.


Also, tomorrow=DONE WITH THIS HELL OF A SEMESTER.

And I've decided to train this summer for Philly's half-marathon. Pumped!!


endpost.

Hurl

I feel like I need to hurl. This is the second time today and it's from my delicious Panera Bread dinner (although my chipotle chicken panini wasn't pressed for enough time...). The first instance was caused by finishing a 5k which is a much better story. I guess it would have been even better better if I had actually ralph'd instead of just almost doing it. Maybe next time.

Anyway. FINALS. But more importantly: the city tomorrow! I'm pumpedpumpedpumped. And also NIKI on Wednesday. Finally. My soul was slowly dying from the inside out because of the absence of this friend of mine. Seriously.

So life is almost good again despite strange weather changes and impending black ice. Thank goodness for journals, Paul Edinger, and prayer (what of it!?).

Number 2!

endpost.

Taebo

I always feel a little bit more like myself after working out.

IC and Operation Smile!!!!

The Facebook group is currently up to 58 members, including the president of Operation Smile on campus.
SHE SAID SHE WAS INTERESTED IN DOING A JOINT FUNDRAISER WITH US!!!!
I am so excited.
SERIOUSLY. This is awesomeawesome. Because we are actually making this work.

I have also scheduled a screening for January 4th at my Parish at home, which will be viewed by Youth Group and YG parents. The YG adviser has also promised 50% of proceeds from their annual bake-sale to Invisible Children.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

endpost.

Invisible Children on Facebook

So I created the Ramapo Chapter of Invisible Children today on Facebook. Meaning technically it's more my chapter than Ramapo's right now, because it isn't officially affiliated with the school yet.
Paul is contacting the girl tomorrow about having that done for next semester.
The group on Facebook already has 15 members (hopefully this number will balloon...we are still waiting for 223 people to reply, and Paul has not even done his invites yet. Also, I created the group at a weird hour..)...so we're hoping for the best come tomorrow!

endpost.

Invisible Children: The Rough Cut

My Invisible Children DVD came in today and I just finished watching it for the first time out of (hopefully) many times with many different audiences.
Reading about something terrible and seeing something terrible are incredibly different. I was touched when I first began to learn about the Invisible Children of Uganda, but the experience of seeing is what will really make people take action.

I really hope that my plans for Invisible Children at Ramapo are successful. This movement is so new and so unheard of that I know with a lot of time and dedication any one of us can actually make a difference. Which today, is incredible. Albeit horrible because the situation in Africa is disgustingly ignored.

I'm going to start by simply showing the video to as many people as are willing to watch it. I'll go to rooms or invite people to mine, because the word has to be spread regardless of how it is done.

endpost.

CAT!

I'm so happy to be home for Thanksgiving! It is a true relief from school even though I have a gross amount of work to get done before leaving for Ramapo on Sunday.

ANYWAY. My cat allergies ARE SO HORRIBLE RIGHT NOW. I can't even take it, seriously. My symptoms are hives under my chin and on my fingers, itchy eyes, and sneezes.
Orion is well worth the pain though. He's really really good at grooming himself and is (I'm sure) the best looking cat on the block.

Tomorrow is Black Friday. I guess I'll do my best to support the economy and spoil myself one last time before Christmas shopping begins.

And also- this really trashy woman from Easton yelled at me today for putting my foot on her future seat at the football game today. What a dumb, low-class bitch! She wasn't even sitting on the right side of the stadium (should I consider color-blindness?? Maybe she didn't see the sea of red/black across the field from her...)!
Honestly, I'm not psychic and if I was I would most surely not be attuned to that sort of scum (the totally uneducated likes to yell at strange girls in public type..)...she should be so lucky.
PEOPLE



endpost.

Invisible Children

So, last night my friend Faith who is an activist on her campus introduced me to Invisible Children. After learning what it was, it totally blew my mind that none of my friends knew what it was, and it was never something I had seen on the news or read in the papers.
It's definitely one of the most internationally ignored crises of our time.

Anyway, I've decided to start an Invisible Children United (ICU) Club. The three guys who started Invisible Children created it in such a way that students, like myself, would be able to get involved. It's so easy, because all it takes is for little things to happen here and make a great impact over there.
I have to start by spreading the word and finding supporters for my group. I want to get it off its feet as soon as possible so that the group can have its first official meeting Spring 2009.
I am beyond excited for this. I'm always looking for a chance to make a true difference and now I actually can.



endpost.

I'm so boring

Ugh, uhhhhhhhh
I am so BORING for the past like...month. I seriously have nothing to write about!

So here is a list of complaints:
1) My neck hurts...it feels as though I have strange gas bubbles in my neck moving toward my back.OUCH. And WEIRD.
2) I keep waking up at 8:07 AM to urinate. What is this about? Answers, please?
3) My eyes keep drying out because of the heat in our apartment, but it's too cold to have the heat off.
4) And lastly I cannot take how early it gets dark out...it's weighing down on my nerves.

In better news:
1) I am still in love with the phrase..."As a liberal and a feminist, I am offended." Maybe I'll be a better feminist if I try to use this phrase one time a day.
2) I want absolutely nothing for Christmas! So I'm saving my parents money (what an economist!)
3) My cat hasn't peed on MY things, just my younger sister's. Good news for me.
4) I bought a great new coat and Tims. I'm sure I've gained the attention of more people on campus (in a great way) because of these new accessories. I mean, one can hope.


SO that's my post. It's boring and horrible but what can I do about that? On Thanksgiving maybe I'll write about everything I ate! And anyone who reads it (which is no one) will find that they probably had something in common with my meal.










endpost.

Disgust

I guess it's true that some women actually want to be controlled by their male counterparts.

As a feminist, and a liberal, I am offended.












endpost.

Good Day!

Good Day! Foodwise at least. Or drinkwise at least.
Because I have this thing where once I really really give up soda and other unhealthy liquids and only drink water I can really stick to only drinking water(excuse the run-on...?). But once I step off the path even a teensy bit, I relapse into craving all that sugary goodness all of the time.

Anyway- today was the first day since I decided I needed to get back to ONLY water that I stuck to it. Bland though it may be, it feels great! woopwoop!!!!
Self-control is the best.

I also went to the gym so I maybe lost like .5lb? Maybe? Decreased calorie intake + the gym?
We'll go with yes.

So go me! Always!





endpost.

BORING

I can no longer stand my boring living conditions. Where are you Christmas Break? Where are you SUMMER?!

Art School

I've decided that I officially have to go to art school to ever be happy and content and not regret things in my life and be a master of the arts. Or at least really really try. It needs to be free though, so possibly I'll move to California and be a resident for two years.
So there's that.

MYLKSHAYKESSS

DELICIOUS

Into the Minds of 7-11 Employees

What makes that special breed of mostly NJ citizens tick...those strange specimens who work the nightshift at the local 7-11s?

Seriously now. I have had a countless number of strange encounters with these people, to the point where I would not dare enter a 7-11 alone ever...even during daylight hours. I should start chronicling these in a blog entitled SketchSteph7-11s...we'll see about it.

So anyway:

Tonight's incident concerned a worker who felt it wasn't rude in any way to interrupt a private conversation I was having with a friend (about his 20-year old friend who is dating a child of only 16 years...yes, still in diapers). Whatever. The guy was like 60 and pretty much a freak because he kept running around saying "Oh, well I'm 14, I'm not 16 I'm 14." Ummm...what!? The pretty girl buying 1% milk probably thought there was something wrong with me. Needless to say: she was not amused. Whatever.
And it couldn't end there. Of course. He went on to tell the friend I was with, who has blessed this earth for just over 21 years now, that the friend was actually only 12. Which is just so absurd and like, borderline creepy? Because. Because.
I JUST DIDN'T GET THE JOKE OKAY.

So how interesting are these 7-11 employees (and by interesting I pretty much mean very creepy)? So so interesting.

I think I'll start going late at night more so I can have more stories which will easily best the story I just told. It was a lot more sensational when living it.



endpost.

Slovenly

All I ask is that those whom I share space with are not complete slobs.

BUMMED.OUT.

I have been miserably sick for the last 48-hours, but it's a feverless/no throwing up sickness so it sounds stupid and lame when I talk about it.
Last night it plagued me at 1:43 AM and the again at 5 something AM, and then it woke me up at 8:07AM, before my alarm clock was set to go off.
What a bitch disease full of discomforts.

So this illness entails just a generally horrible throbbing headache that is relentless and won't go away despite the generic brand ibuprofen i have been ingesting and a sore throat which is the worst because it makes breathing,talking,eating,and drinking painful...and uhh these are life necessities.

Basically, I've been miserable and whiny all day (because I already hate fucking Tuesdays). And to top everything off, I hit my head like a dolt in my sculpture class. Like one of those, UH HELLO IS MY SKULL STILL INTACT?! type hitting of heads...MISERY.
Now my eyes are dry from the heat the worst case of acne I've had in years, but I'll stop being a Debbie Downer and cozy up with the book I'm reading (Brisingr...read it!).





endpost.

FEATHERBED

I got my new featherbed. IT'S GREAT. For the past week I've been falling asleep, thinking..."This is comfortable, but when my new featherbed comes in it's gonna' be even better."

Well I must be a psychic because it is. It's so much better and my bed looks about 3 inches taller (because it technically is now...3 inches taller of COMFORT) and perfect.

In other news, I'm getting my picture taken for the school paper for being Artist of the Week. So that's nice.





endpost.

PS-

My canceled Mad Science class was replaced with a new one!!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

!!

I'm so psyched on mah Halloween partayyy.

S'gonna' be the bomb

Kung Fu Hustle

That movie is seriously amazing. I actually forgot that it even existed for I'm not sure how long (how would I even begin to measure that).
Can you imagine being the Visual Director for that?

Best job ever.

endpost.

AUTUMN

I seriously love autumn. IT SMELLS SO GOOD. Unlike my apartment which has persisted in smelling like a literal dumpster for over a week...whichhh is disgusting.

Observed with Pam Anderson this morning. It was an alright time...observations would really be better without the students. Then I would be left with just Pam Anderson, and we could have quality time and I could ask her about her glasses and tell her how cool they are (because they are...every single one, which is like at least 50.) I aspire to also have this many pairs of cool specs. The pair that I currently own, I hate, and they also aren't even strong enough for my eyes meaning that I have "blind days." Whic is horrible.

My week is incomplete thus far (and will be until next week) because Sarah Connor Chronicles wasn't on!!! I am in love with her in a non-lesbionic way. You would be too. She has perfect muscular arms and wears all variations of grey, and other plain clothes varieties, just like me!!!! I guess that means we're soul mates and I should let her know about through fan mail or something.

No class for the rest of the week. Groceries today so I can eat that wonderful cereal that sits in my pantry unused (but not unloved).













endpost.

WE ARE HERE.

We made it to Montague after many mishaps and ridiculousness. Will post tomorrow about how the Appalachian Trail goes!

Honeymoon Getaway!

My friend Paul and I are going to Montague this weekend to hike the Appalachian Trails!!!!!
This sounds so adventurous (because it is). We're going to see waterfalls, JUST LIKE CANADA and I'm going to take pictures like a true to form tourist (and also Asian, but I'm Puerto Rican too so there).

I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT. We're getting reimbursed by his parents for groceries. Doing diners, watching Sex & the City (and Arrested Development), and exercising!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

WHOOPWHOOP






endpost.

Mad Science

One of my Mad Science classes was CANCELLED. Big surprise, I didn't find out about it until yesterday (the exact day it was set to begin).

So I'm hoping to be Paul's "labaid" for that Thursday class. I get paid half-wage which sucks because I could be doing the same thing with my own class for full wage, but whatever...it's better than nothing.

Plus, I really think he needs the help. It isn't his lack of ability, it's these KIDS. Claudio can't say nuclear and got put into a corner for misbehaving so much, followed shortly by another miscreant. This really was an exceptionally wild group of children. But in all honesty, exceptionally wild beats out exceptionally shy (BORING) any fucking day. Seriously. Today is my new first official class day for Mad Science. I'm nervous because I don't want these kids to be so shy that they don't want to participate... I know that they'll be a lot different from Thursday's group because the area is much different sooo we'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, my stomach is unsettlingly hungry and I should really take care of that.


endpost.

The Guatemalans Who I Teach

So, my friend Paul and I had our first day of volunteering last night at Groupo Cajola. This is an organization run by Karyn Maxim and it helps Guatemalan immigrants start to learn how to speak English and use computers and other very basic skills which will really help them get along in America.

Last night when I realized that every person there but ME spoke Spanish, I was very overwhelmed. Paul has been taking Spanish for years and can communicate well enough with other Spanish speaking people, but I was really in over my head. The class was so welcoming and eager to learn though, that I couldn't help but gain confidence as everything proceeded. Our sessions are only one hour long, but because of the intensity of which I was trying to understand the surrounding conversation, I really did start to pick out and begin to understand certain Spanish words.

I've started a Spanish notebook that I will bring with me to class each week. I want to start being able to communicate more easily with these people. Some of them know less English than I know Spanish, so it really is very difficult. I've already picked up a lot of key things which will help me next Wednesday and I honestly can't wait to get back !!!! What I want most right now (other than to be fluent right this instant) is for the Guatemalans to know that I really am trying, and will continue to try to speak Spanish, just as much as they are trying to learn English. I think I'll be okay because I have so much enthusiasm for it, and I'll be there every week which will force me to pick up SOME things, even if I don't want to.


So that was my first official teaching experience. Tonight is my second, and tomorrow is my third. Tonight being my first night of Mad Science where I will be completely alone with my ownnnn class:)))) I really can't wait. I think that being a Mad Science teacher and a Guatemalan language teacher at the same time is really really so awesome because the experiences are so different. In both instances, I have a challenging group that needs to be taught so many things and they are depending on me to know my stuff so that they learn correctly. It's so WEIRD to be trusted completely by someone. I wonder how many teachers I have now know the gift they were given in pretty much always having someone who just believes every word that comes out of their mouths? Because really, that's true in most cases.

I am very nervous about Mad Science, but I am SO happy that I'm putting so much teaching experience under my belt already. When we were at Groupo Cajola I could really feel my teacher's instinct kicking in, which Paul said really helped him a lot because he would try to overexplain things often (an easy trap to fall into).


In other news, I hit the 100 mile mark on my Brooks (finally, I know) on September 30...I am now at 116.13. Sweet.

endpost.

Barnes & Noble

Barnes & Noble is a really great place to go to the bathroom during an emergency situation.
Becaaause you just aren't even obligated to buy anything and are completely welcome to use the loo.
Thank goodness for this, otherwise my car would be a hideous wreck at this very moment.


endpost

.

I need to get over myself.

BODIES

Brian took me to see Bodies the Exhibit yesterday.
WEIRD SHIT.

I went in with this most ridiculous attitude that I would be totally unaffected by the cadavers that were on display.
WRONG.
I mean honestly, how could someone really not be affected by at least one of the following:
1) Neatly severed limbs in glass boxes
2) Fetuses
3) Fetuses IN THE WOMB
4) The Bodies in general.
5) Cancerous organs

Man oh man oh man oh ohman.

I was actually a little nauseous by the end. I had seen juuuust about as much as I could handle.
It was very surprising for me that I went in with one expectation and left with something very different from that expectation.
Being an expert at single-mindedness, usually when I choose an expectation I get what I expect because that's how strong my tunnelvision is. I can't say I was pleasantly surprised, but it was a good surprise nonetheless.

I also can't say I would see the exhibit again, but that doesn't take away from the fact that it was AWESOME.


I do recommend that everyone go see Bodies (though I'm sure I'm one of the last people ever in the tri-state area anyway) unless you have any any any doubts.
Because they'll probably come true and you'll barf or cry or pass out or something else equally embarrassing.


endpost.

That Ab Crunching Machine

at the gym is phenomenal. Abs of steel, here I come!

Sculpture

Seems like something I'm not that great at, but will most likely succeed at more than in photography.
Hopefully.
If not, a horrifying semester ensues.

POSTSCRIPT

I killed the bee.
Lysol (lots of it) seems to be effective enough...if you're like me an afraid of any physical contact with insects.

It's also a shame that all of these bees keep coming in my apartment only to die or be killed. Considering they're dying out and all.

Bee..?

I got stung by a bee in my own apartment last night.
Like, what?
Getting stung by a bee is already rare, having a bee inside is rare, and then getting stung by that bee????
I took it pretty calmly, but now I have the heebeejeebies because there is another bee in my bedroom.....
On top of the 4 dead bee bodies we've seen around the entire apartment.
THIS SUCKS.
I emailed the maintenance men and ordered an exterminator come immediately, but so far: nothing. Failures.
Two of my roommates have never even been stung before, and could possibly be allergic.

.

When a friend tells you something major and completely life altering about him or herself, is it nor our responsibility as FRIENDS to be there for this person completely, and support him in his time of need, no questions asked?
The answer is yes, 100% yes. But somehow there are still people out there who can't behave in this basic way. I want to understand where these people are coming from, because I've seen it happen over and over again and I still cannot understand it. Who are they, and what has happened to them to make their hearts so closed?
My personal philosophy is that we are all Brothers, and as such responsible for the welfare of one another. If we see another in need, we should always automatically do whatever is in our power to help that person. Each individual soul comprises one single Universe, so if one soul is in pain, every soul is in pain. If one soul rejoices, every soul rejoices.

What makes me the most disgusted is that I know that in some hidden way, I have hurt (and continue to hurt) these Brothers of mine. How can God love all us when we're so sick in the mind and just downright wrong?
But He does, and that's the only hope for all of us, really.

6 MILES

FINALLY. I HAVE DONE IT. And I did it well too.
And by well I mean, I could have gone longer if I really felt like it (which I absolutely did not)
It was an extremely rainy run, which I normally like...but this time I was sort of drowning in my own inhalations and all that jazz. Still, I'm sure it helped (it usually does).
The biggest downer of the run was that I started getting hungry very close to the start and smelling french fries everywhere I turned ... (strange)...

Anyway. I did the 6 miles in a "speedy"not 1 hour, 10 minutes and 35 seconds.
I started at 18 minutes, 33 seconds and then did some variation on 5 minute breaks and 1o minute runs.
My second to last break I did take for possibly 11 minutes (sinful, I know) but all is well, because I finished strong and PROUD.

I'd lost my pride completely after the shin splints, feeling fat, unattractive, and unathletic.

But two weeks ago I couldn't do 6 miles. Or something, I'm not quite sure. Google maps told me it was 5.7 and my car told me 6miles, but it's somewhere in between those, and I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt for all of those cars I had to go around parked on the road, and the streets I have to cross...mostly jayjogging.


HUMANRACE (here I come!!!!)!!!!!


endpost

Nerd

In the manner of a complete nerd, I was awakened from my hard earned sleep (seriously, it took like an hour to fall asleep) because I couldn't breathe due to allergies...
Seriously, what a loser. That was at 2:47 AM.
So I got up to blow my nose and woke up the kitten, and then used the toilet because hey, why not. And of course Orion feels it totally necessary to jump on my lap as I'm urinating, and then try napping there. Sweet cat (seriously).
Then I trekked downstairs to drug up on Benadryl and get knocked out cold, but it just didn't happen that way and after not being able to fall asleep once again, I still woke up less than 8 hours later.
How is this? Benadryl is supposed to make me sleep for a long time (at least 8 hours!!!!!). According to my faith in Benadryl, I should still be in bed for at least another hour.
Instead, I am "awake", but with a slight dizziness and fatigue since the Benadryl is still very much in my system.

In other ridiculous news- my mom got home from work last night and stormed into her room, out of the house, and into her room for the rest of the evening. After yelling at me for a little bit to make herself feel better.
She was angry at my sisters and I because we hadn't done the dishes. But fuck that, having a temper tantrum at age 48 just doesn't do much for me except to make me 50%amused/50% annoyed.
All over some dirty dishes. She even called my dad who then called me. Do my parents really not understand that I'm 20 years old, and intelligent enough to recognize their irrational behavior? Apparently not.

And they should, especially because it's their fault that I also have irrational tendencies.

Plus, the only reason I didn't do the dishes is because it isn't "my week."
Yes. In our household, we have a weekly chore list, like fucking 5 year olds. So I simply refused to do someone else's chores. If I am to be subjected to some ridiculous To-Do list, rather than be asked like an adult to get something done, then I am going to follow said list to the tee, and not do an ounce more than originally requested by that list.
Minor mistake on my part, but with good reason.


endpost

Don't Wear Bronzer (Please?)

At least, not if you're a male. And a meat head at that. AND (worst of all) a wannabe musician.
At Porter's the other night, I saw for the first time a true example of a Tool (yes, the caps was necessary). If being a meat head, and possibly the least talented musician ever (will clarify), wasn't enough, this kid also donned a skin tight shirt and one of those weird beanie things with mini brims.
I've had a personal hatred for those stupid hats ever since they came out. They just scream asshole. On top of that, it's fucking August indoors. Asshole-caps not necessary.

Here is some basic advice I have for this kid, or maybe you if you fall into this unfortunate profile:

1) Don't be a meat head. Easy.
2) Ditch the mini brim. Easy.
3) Don't condemn your audience with sappy feminine lyrics about a girl and her eyes, doubled with power chords. It makes no sense. Easy (if you put your mind to it! ).
4) Don't continuously mention said girl in every single song. And oh, there were so many. Moderate: once you've fallen into a funk it sometime proves challenging to escape it.
5) Don't play a baby blue electric guitar. Easy/Hard, unless you have a spare one lying around that hasn't been obnoxiously tinted, this could prove difficult. Regardless: Get it done.
6) Don't sing loud, or ever. EASY
7) Don't wear bronzer....


In good news though, my boyfriend tagged along with his friends' band right after MiniBrim on saxophone, and the trio made a nicely unique sound that was easy to listen to without being boring. And that's without vocals (a welcome relief after Bronzer). Unfortunately, all of the fans who had stuck around for that awful little man ditched when he was finished playing.
I know you're thinking that they left because they were driven away by his noise, but the sad truth is that they were his fans.
Yes: This guy had total fans. One of them even commented that "He just plays guitar so well."

WHAT.


How does that happen? What happens to people that could really make them so delusional about life and what sounds good.
Fuck it being a matter of opinion, the guy sucked and that's the end of it. No opinion (other than those that are the same as mine) necessary. Some things just suck! And everyone should just suck a dick or realize it!

Endpost

Boyfrannns

I never ask for boy advice, but people come to me for advice about boys a lot.

I'm not sure if this is a problem or not, but it's something I've always done. I guess I'm just really not comfortable talking about "guy problems" because I feel like it leaves me vulnerable to looking weak and for people to judge me or think their relationships are better than mine.
And that list is ridiculous and probably not true. But whatever, I'm paranoid.

Anyway, I'm not sure if anyone really notices that I almost never talk about these things exclusively, but I do like that people feel they can come to me for advice.
Possibly I think my own self is a good enough person to confide in, if that makes sense? Like, other people seem to think my judgment is alright enough to talk about things with, so maybe I'm just really good at taking my own advice.


Yeah, I'm definitely going with that one. hahaha

Fuck you, The Man!

I'M READY FOR SCHOOL. So ready.

I'm going to learn to cook (hopefully..) and overcome my fear of extreme heat from the oven. Whatever! I'm 20, female, and don't like cooking.

What of it, people?

It'll happen when it happens. All you COOKERS our there should be jealous of how easily I've coasted through 20 years of life, never making anything more complicated than chicken parmesan, which my mom took over for me anyway. Meaning I've also escaped many laborious hours over a hot stove which could potentially burn my skin.

People like to poke fun at this fact, but my absolute best friends at college, KC and Pallwaul (who will be mentioned numerous times in about two weeks) had to be taught by moi to cook pancakes.
Which, if you know me, is absolutely hilarious. I basically only knew how to cook pancakes by observation. Plus the fact that it's completely absurd that between three 20 year olds, not one of us had actually ever made them before.
Lame, but maybe our lack of cooking skills is a subconscious jab at The Man, who expects us to cook and be providers.
Fuck you, The Man!

The Fountainhead

Read it. Whether you like Ayn Rand or not, read this book. Take your time if you have to, or rush through it, because yeah it's long. But so worth it.
SERIOUSLY.
Or at least skip to almost toward the end when the main character Howard Roark is in a court room speaking. I won't mention why, just in case, and also because I have hope that one of my readers (which is no one but myself) will read this book.

Awesome enough to have a definite impact on how I view most things, and not in that way where the author is on some religious journey and tries to make you feel bad about yourself and your lifestyle and wants you to change.

This book is basically preaching that "selfishness" is a good thing and that our society wrongfully teaches all of us to feel bad about making ourselves happy. When really, anyone who can achieve self happiness independent of everyone else is the person who keeps life moving.

Which sounds so confusing and dumb coming from my hands, so just read the book.

Hideous Haircuts

I hate them and I refuse to get one.

Some people are so into that...?

I could never...

study abroad

SNOW

For the first time IN MY LIFE. I look forward to winter. And achingly so. I cannot wait to go snowboarding.
Don't let me fool you into thinking that I'm anything other than a moderately advanced beginner because it just wouldn't be true.
After last year's lessons and major improvements however, I feel confident and brave and wish that the Bay Family (not my family) snowboarding trip could come faster than February.
It also helps that I just bought myself my first ever actual snowboarding coat (with removable hood).
Cannot wait.

RUN

Today was the longest I have ever run, and the BEST run EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excitement.

RC MARIO

This was shown to me a couple of months ago, and I just remembered it now, watched it again, and decided it was worthy of a blog.
:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed4CHkN-Dkw

WHAT GOES ON. Say what you wish, but I'm glad this kid sacrificed God knows how many hours to this project.
BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME.

Bitches

If you happen to be reading this and you are above the age of 60, were at Music Fest to see Jethro Tull, and sat lawn...then you are probably a bitch.
Probably.

So last night a few of us went to see Jethro Tull live, and I don't think that A) I've ever been more scared for my life and the lives of the people I was with and B) I've ever been surrounded by more assholes.

First off, this older man behind us asked us to sit down or move from where we were standing so that he and his wife (who were sitting behind us) could see. Being almost 100% non-confrontational, I quickly made myself invisible and allowed my male counterparts to do the job for me.
The man was promptly refused his request on the grounds that we had also paid for our tickets.

You might be thinking right about now that we were sort of assholes to refuse this man vision to the front, but we were like a mile back anyway, and he was over 60...so truthfully, what exactly was he seeing? Plus, the point made was completely valid: we paid for our tickets and we were in LAWN and it was a CONCERT. Lawn is for young assholes who can't afford to sit reserved. Lawn is NOT for old fuckers who want to be arrogant, but somehow can't afford reserved seating...
really? Yes.
So anyway, this guy gets a cop and then we sort of have to move. You win old man.
Two positive things here though: 1. The cop was not an asshole (weird, right?) 2. No one was arrested.
You just don't mess with the cops, especially at a Jethro Tull concert where it sounds so silly..?

So then, during Jethro Tull's 20 minute break, our friend from VIP comes back to the lawn fence to talk to us. While we're there, some asshole 60 year old of the female variety "excuses" herself, and pushes me out of her way in a very bodily fashion. At this point I am literally standing behind, rather than with, my friends. So she just sucks. And so does her big ass husband who I thought was a woman for a full 5 seconds because his tits were so big.
Suddenly, his big face is in the face of one of my friends because my friend has been saying Fuck and varieties of the word Fuck (ex: fucking, fucker, fucked...etc) too much for Big Face's liking. So Big Face is so mad and my friend backs down. But VIP does not and I was scared for his life.
The situation is eventually calmed down and my Fuck friend apologizes (again) to Big Face as we're going back to our standing spots. But all Big Face has to say about it is, "It's a good thing you calmed your friend (VIP) down, because if you hadn't I would have laid him out."
!!!!
!????
???!!!
UHHH, WHAT. WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT TO ANYBODY ONCE THEY PASS THE AGE OF 29????!!!
oh. THAT guy.
Total D-Bag.

But then Karma came along in the form of a 60+ pot head who gave me two roaches (which I passed off...so don't anyone go calling the police on me). I had made friends with this guy earlier when I was sitting away from my group and he was laughing at them because they were loud (and drunk) and he was high and drunk.

So all-in-all. Jethro Tull fans tend to be total bitches. But only tend to be (our 60+ pot head was definite proof that not 100% of his fans are terrible people). The show was amazing and it was an awesome night. Probably the most interesting I've ever ever ever had.

Life is good.

That Hiccuping Chick

So I'm thinking about that hiccuping chick again, and I'm going to attempt to drive home how much having 3 weeks worth of neverending hiccups would suck. They inhibit tons of things. Here are a few:

1) Hide and seek. Forget about it. Cannot happen any longer.
2) Swimming. I made that up. But I really feel like being underwater with hiccups would be really really awful and you would get water up your nose and in your mouth and possibly drown or throw up and those both suck.
3) Movies. Nope. And so many good ones came out this summer!
4) Choir. She may or may not have been a choir girl, but if she was ever thinking about it, those hiccups made the decision for her.
5) Making out. Whatever.


I'm going to stop at 5 because lists tend to get boring after 5. Feel free to add.

Olympian Smog Masks

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/olympics/article4470968.ece

Read that article, and tell me that isn't just hilarious. Yeah, the whole thing IS obnoxious, but seriously? It's just like a total bitch slap in the face to China. I don't know, I feel like the Chinese government could choose something so much more important to get "annoyed" about, but our cyclists are what got the job done, and frankly: I love it. That would be like a group of people coming to America sporting little anti-Bush pins, or something else that would be extremely obvious . And no one would care because it would be true- Bush does suck enough to have anti-Bush pins. It's just really not even a big deal at all. And China's air may well be dirty enough to sport smog masks. So no apology needed, eh?.
The whole thing just seems like such a playground situation.
Like, "hey-- China, we think your air is dirty...?"
And then of course the forced apology.

One article high light that cracked me up was that someone said that hopefully the air would be clean for the athletes when the time came. ...
.
Uhh. What does that even mean? That air is now what the air is going to be then.

Whatever folks.

He's F$CKING BEN AFFLECK

So that Sarah Silverman video shown on Jimmy Kimmel (I'm Fucking Matt Damon) was a great high light for my semester.
But here is an even better high light for my summer. Jimmy Kimmel Fucking Ben Affleck. I have to say, this one got a lot more laughs out of me (and had tons more stars). Here are my favorite high lights from the video (in no particular order)(the incredible lyrics will not be mentioned beyond this point):

1) The intimate nose-to-nose of Jimmy and Ben. That moment just really leaves you wanting more.
2) Lance Bass. Period
3) Josh Groban. I didn't think any celeb there could beat the presence of Mr Bass. But it was happened the moment I heard Josh Groban's heartfelt (and just as gorgeous) voice utter the word "fucking" numerous times...censored of course. And unfortunately.
4) Ben and Jimmy's cut off shorts? Yes please. Not to mention Affleck's shiny blue...thing...that could possibly have been a one piece. Which would be sensational

A) (I'll call this one A instead of 5 because I'm really not sure whether it's worthy of mentioning) But while viewing, I did rewind back to the moment when Cameron Diaz shows evident pleasure (so much of it!) in making a certain obscene (and censored) hand gesture.

PS- I'm not a lover of Brad Pitt, but I love that he was there. LOVE.

Today is good.

Yours can be too:
HE'S F&CKING BEN AFFLECK

Oh yeah AND

I'll never get enough of Paris Hilton.
A) Because she's one of the most ridiculous, trashy human beings on Planet Earth (and I love it)
B) Because she quoted that ridiculous song and I find that amazing.

Oh and you'll need to watch this video to really understand what I mean at all:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8c8786f522

3 Week Hiccuping Girl

Um, WHAT!? At first I was looking at MSN news for more trashy reports about ridiculous things that no one wants to hear about. Of course, when I saw a headline involving some girl who is suing a hiccuping cure company, I didn't think I'd find anything that could beat its level of sensation.

So I clicked on the video link (listed below) and was surprised to find myself feeling downright sorry for this teenager who has been hiccuping for THREE WEEKS STRAIGHT. I mean...really? Hiccups are only ever funny for like 5 seconds. Then they become embarrassing, annoying, and eventually painful. My mom used to tell me these stories about how my grandpa would sometimes need to go to the hospital because his hiccups would be so painful.

I seriously feel bad for this little chick. I mean, if I could choose to be afflicted with something it just wouldn't ever be hiccups. Hiccups are just so silly and are hard to take seriously. Plus the fact that the whole thing sounds completely ridiculous. I would expect that most people don't even want to talk to our "victim" because it would seem so awkward and also grating on the ears.

Don't ask me what I would be afflicted with, because I just have no clue. Except for that it wouldn't ever be hiccups. Who wants to be medicated just for going to sleep?

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/17182403#17182403

After All...

So after all that excitement about the run I took with my friend, and after my acceptance of its failure, I wake up completely burned out. This was yesterday ( I couldn't even be bothered to write about it at the time). Anyway, yesterday that run just seemed to do quite a number on my mood, gave me a pulsing headache that lasted about 6 hours, and made me weak and weirdly nauseous the entire day. I thought I was getting sick with what my mom had, but that was probably because she kept insisting that these were all the symptoms she was getting before she had thrown up the day before. Thanks mom. Ever the optimist:)
Anyway, I thought it would be all over today, but I woke up this morning with strained muscles in my thigh and butt. So there's that.
I'm running anyway, because if I keep pampering myself and not going I'll never be ready for the 10K.
Plus, I've learned my lesson and won't ever be foolish enough to have a full meal before I go run. And then add 37mL of water on top of that food in a time span of about 40 minutes.

So yeah- sorry that this post was basically just me whining and talking about myself (more than usual:) )

Have a good one!

9:09PM

Okay, so the run that I attempted tonight was just AWFUL. I am beyond disappointed in myself because I can usually pride myself on having very good endurance and not needing to make up excuses for any weaknesses while exercising. Tonight shouldn't have been any different, buttttt it was (sucks). I guess I just need to admit sometimes that my body has limitations, and as much as I'd like for my mind to help me deny this fact, there really isn't anything I can do about it.

And eating a full meal before running is the worst idea ever.

I got really awesome girl time out of the experience though, and girl time is just one of those necessary things for most women. For me at least. So in that way I'm satisfied enough to not be hating myself right now (at least not too much)

2 MORE DREAMS

I had two really satisfying dreams last night.
The first one had this girl who I absolutely hate in it, but it was really good anyway, because it was just so interesting. In the dream, we basically would just sit around with dead people in a cafeteria on the other side, and my sister had this infuriating habit of trying to impress this girl who we both really hate. So it was just cool. Since we were on "the other side."
Also, I had a dream that I was a WITCH. Like a normal person with powers. This dream must be the Universe's answer to my prayers, because even at 20 I just think that being a witch would be TOO.COOL. So in the dream witches everywhere were being prosecuted, so I was on the run with my boyfriend and his family. Which is sort of random. We found this house and the lady ended up being a witch enthusiast and she knew immediately that we were witches. Her basement was basically a hide-out, it had two doggie doors for us to crawl through when inspectors came to her house for random searches. So once they did, and we went through two rooms and ended up going through like three different sets of rooms full of doors (these rooms were pretty much exactly how I would imagine Harry Potter's Department of Mysteries door room, except these were all wooden and were rotating not just regular doors). So boyfriend, boyfriend's little brother, and I ended up being the only ones running through and we would close the doors behind us and stuff. It was really exciting and cool, because the chances of the inspectors choosing the exact set of doors that we did was almost impossible (there were 6 doors in every room). Anyway, we all also had this really cool power where we would touch our noses and concentrate just enough on a location and just end up there. And that would be too cool in real life.

Drrrrrrrrream

I had the BEST dream. It was the BEST dream because in it, I had this room full of about 10 people (and I knew all of them!) and each of them had something super and awesome to say about me! YOU ALMOST CAN'T BEAT THAT IN A DREAM.
I also had a dream before that about following all of my friends and possibly some guy to the Caribbean, and while I was there I flooded a kitchen and turned on some weird vent and couldn't figure out how to fix either problem. And some mom with a baby had to fix it for me. And yeah. I was one of the popular girls, so that was new. But rather than being bitchy we were more like the the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants or something.

I'm going to see Mamma Mia! today!!!! No one seems interested in it, but I cannot wait. I cannot wait to hear Meryl , or however it's spelled

Really?

"Week of July 28, 2008Heidi Montag arrives at an autograph signing in Beverly Hills, Calif. (July 26, 2008)."

Really? Heidi Montag REALLY signed autographs in Beverly Hills???? I'm not sure how that works, but does that mean that someone has actually paid Heidi Montag for her time? Does that mean people actually showed up? I'd assume so, since it's been categorized as news.
Which is just plain sickening. Who is Heidi Montag but a blonde American just like every other American. Except possibly thoughtlessly rich with a good-for-absolutely-nothing (especially esthetically) fiance to boot.
I'm not sure if I'm more disgusted with the fact that Heidi Montag was made to sign photographs, when she is literally a NOTHING except a Hollywood stereotype who gets plastic surgery and seems hopelessly useless as a human being just about 99% of the time, or the fact that it made news.

Those Minutes Commercials

Are those hilarious cell-phone minutes commercials by AT&T? The one with the two sons and the mom and at the kitchen sink and the husband who reads the paper. There are two of these commercials and they're both hilarious.
Anyway, I had the weirdest dream that I was the donkey-looking kid from the commercials, and I was in love with this faceless girl (what else is new, in a dream?). So this fat bitch was after her, and she came over to the hut that we were in that had dirt floors (hey, why not right?) . I have no idea why this fattie wanted anything to do with my dream girl, but she did. My girl let me know behind the fat one's back that there was a trap door somewhere in this hut we were in, and if the girl stepped on it, she would be just heavy enough to break it and fall through. Or something? I don't know. I hate that dreams are so fuzzy and hard to remember. I remember that the fat one fell through the floor, but I also get this feeling that my lady ended up being the one in the trap, and once you were inside of it there was no way of getting out. So if I ever wanted to visit her down there, which of course I would have...because I was pining for her...I would have to make sure to bring a rescue rope with me.
Anyway, it ended up that I woke up with the feeling that it was a good dream, but it sounds pretty awful in writing. Maybe my satisfaction came from having experienced being a boy and loving on a lady for the first time in my life! Hey- there's a first time for everything.

And speaking of which-- for the first time ever I was on a cancelled flight! And it SUCKED hard core. The Continental people at St. Maarten's just don't have it together, andddd they were totally abusing their customers. Like this adorable young French couple got stranded at the airport after the bus that was supposed to take them to a hotel for the night left without them.
Traveling seriously sucks. I don't know how people do it. I mean, for goodness sake I'm 20 years old and after traveling I'm just wiped out forrrr my whole entire life practically.
Here is a list of things I would need to change about myself in order to be a good traveler:
-Anxiety (just doesn't go hand in hand with the free-and-easy travel scene...not at all ideal)
-Pickiness...I have a limited menu
-Sensitive stomach...probably a combo of anxiety and pickiness
-Overpacking. I never went over the weight maximum at the airports, but it's a really bad sign that I had to worry about it at all.

Anyway, that list was a lot less fun than I wanted it to be, so I apologize for it's shortness and at how uneventful it was.

EATEN ALIVE

Seriously, I am. The mosquitoes here are out to get me and nothing I do is helping. I spray Deep Woods Off! constantly, but to no avail.
It's really pathetic. I haven't been massacred to this level of extreme since I was last in Puerto Rico visiting my grandparents (which makes so much sense because PR is sort of close to Anguilla).
Anyway-- despite my bugbites, life here is good. I went running for the first two days but stopped because there are wild dogs everywhere and you never know if one is renegade enough to attack me. I'm sure (positive) that I'm being paranoid, because all of the dogs seem very friendly and wag their tales all the time, but I'm a runner alone and I'm really not interested in pushing my chances.
So we've been snorkeling in the reefs twice since we got here and it is just the coolest experience. When we went yesterday we had this boat man named Calvin drive us out to this bay (on his boat) and we stayed there for two hours. There were literally MILLIONS of this one school of fish all around us, it was so weird. Like a city of them. And there was construction going on the cliff over us so the fish would freak out when this one loud noise started going, and that was sort of scary. But boy was it cool. I made myself really proud while we were there, and we all climbed barefoot in our swimsuits up this cliffy rock thing and then jumped off of it. That one time I went rock climbing with Brian and Rob really came in handy for that experience.
We also went ziplining the other day!!!! It was much much different than I expected it to be. The directions they gave us made it sound really scary and dangerous, but I guess even if you have like 1% common sense you'd still be okay. The whole thing was like an obstacle course, so we weren't just zipping around the whole time (though that would have been cooler). I broke such a sweat by the end, it was ridiculous.
Andddddd the food has been pretty good so far. I ate a fish burger which is just weird and random of me, but it was very good. My body has been rejecting the idea of chicken lately, just thinking about certain types of it makes me nauseous. Brian told me that the reason for this is because that's pretty much the only meat I eat, and my body is looking for more variation. So I've been trying to eat more shrimp and stuff, and that's the reason I had the fish burger.

THE WATER IS SO BLUE HERE. It's like you see in the commercials except BETTER because it's actually here where I am and I can touch it and swim in it, and not just watch it on the tube. AMAZING. I'm still not over how clear it is and we've gone in the water every day since we've been here.

1st Day at St. Maarten's, Anguilla Island ( Yesterday)

St Maarten's is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. All those pictures I showed you guys from the Bliss Villa website??? WELL IT'S SO MUCH BETTER IN PERSON. Brian and I get to have the Master bedroom. It's fucking like, loaded with amazing things. We have a DVD and TV in our room, a Bose ipod player, a HUGE walk in closet with wall to wall cabinets, our own master bathroom with tons of mirrors, a really deep sunken bath which is enormous, and a shower with no curtains and it's just open. And it like rains on me instead of showers me. And since it has no curtain and lots of mirrors...I CAN WATCH MYSELF SHOWER. AHAAAAAHAHA.
And ummm. OH. The bathroom is all open with the windows and so instead of having regular shades that you close, the shades are ELECTRONIC. WHAT?!?! HOW HOLLYWOOD IS THIS SITUATION. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The house is pretty much bigger than mine and yours put together which is just ridiculous. And it has a computer. And. Just so much stuff, and I'm trying to take as many pictures as I can and stuff. Also, our bedroom walks out onto the back terrace, which is also enormous and goes to the other side of the house and also past the Infinity pool (which I think you've seen, but it looks like the pool is melding into the ocean, and it's salt water not chlorine.)!!LKLAKGKDA:

I LOVE IT HERE I COULD SO GET USED TO THIS LIFE.
AND DRIVING ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE ROAD.

07232008

So I made a Google account so I would have the ability to comment on Niki's blog. I don't really feel like blogging on Xanga anymore, because it feels old and used and abandoned. Which for some bizarre reason brings to mind the oldest whore from Moulin Rouge or something.
Anyway.
I'm over halfway to my goal of being ready for the 10K I want to run on August 31. I'm at 3.65miles out of 6.2, which is so exciting.
Of course, I almost died running the 3.65 (and not even because of cars) because I was so tired by the end. Today is day two of that distance and I am admittedly a bit sore from yesterday's running. But regardless, I've proven to myself that I can do it, and without even needing to stop for a break. Though a break would have beeeeen lovely.

So. I've found a new love in Rummy. So if you want to play, game on.

VACATION tomorrow. By this time I should be in the air!!!!!!!!!!!:DDD