Friday, August 29, 2008

6 MILES

FINALLY. I HAVE DONE IT. And I did it well too.
And by well I mean, I could have gone longer if I really felt like it (which I absolutely did not)
It was an extremely rainy run, which I normally like...but this time I was sort of drowning in my own inhalations and all that jazz. Still, I'm sure it helped (it usually does).
The biggest downer of the run was that I started getting hungry very close to the start and smelling french fries everywhere I turned ... (strange)...

Anyway. I did the 6 miles in a "speedy"not 1 hour, 10 minutes and 35 seconds.
I started at 18 minutes, 33 seconds and then did some variation on 5 minute breaks and 1o minute runs.
My second to last break I did take for possibly 11 minutes (sinful, I know) but all is well, because I finished strong and PROUD.

I'd lost my pride completely after the shin splints, feeling fat, unattractive, and unathletic.

But two weeks ago I couldn't do 6 miles. Or something, I'm not quite sure. Google maps told me it was 5.7 and my car told me 6miles, but it's somewhere in between those, and I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt for all of those cars I had to go around parked on the road, and the streets I have to cross...mostly jayjogging.


HUMANRACE (here I come!!!!)!!!!!


endpost

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Nerd

In the manner of a complete nerd, I was awakened from my hard earned sleep (seriously, it took like an hour to fall asleep) because I couldn't breathe due to allergies...
Seriously, what a loser. That was at 2:47 AM.
So I got up to blow my nose and woke up the kitten, and then used the toilet because hey, why not. And of course Orion feels it totally necessary to jump on my lap as I'm urinating, and then try napping there. Sweet cat (seriously).
Then I trekked downstairs to drug up on Benadryl and get knocked out cold, but it just didn't happen that way and after not being able to fall asleep once again, I still woke up less than 8 hours later.
How is this? Benadryl is supposed to make me sleep for a long time (at least 8 hours!!!!!). According to my faith in Benadryl, I should still be in bed for at least another hour.
Instead, I am "awake", but with a slight dizziness and fatigue since the Benadryl is still very much in my system.

In other ridiculous news- my mom got home from work last night and stormed into her room, out of the house, and into her room for the rest of the evening. After yelling at me for a little bit to make herself feel better.
She was angry at my sisters and I because we hadn't done the dishes. But fuck that, having a temper tantrum at age 48 just doesn't do much for me except to make me 50%amused/50% annoyed.
All over some dirty dishes. She even called my dad who then called me. Do my parents really not understand that I'm 20 years old, and intelligent enough to recognize their irrational behavior? Apparently not.

And they should, especially because it's their fault that I also have irrational tendencies.

Plus, the only reason I didn't do the dishes is because it isn't "my week."
Yes. In our household, we have a weekly chore list, like fucking 5 year olds. So I simply refused to do someone else's chores. If I am to be subjected to some ridiculous To-Do list, rather than be asked like an adult to get something done, then I am going to follow said list to the tee, and not do an ounce more than originally requested by that list.
Minor mistake on my part, but with good reason.


endpost

Monday, August 25, 2008

Don't Wear Bronzer (Please?)

At least, not if you're a male. And a meat head at that. AND (worst of all) a wannabe musician.
At Porter's the other night, I saw for the first time a true example of a Tool (yes, the caps was necessary). If being a meat head, and possibly the least talented musician ever (will clarify), wasn't enough, this kid also donned a skin tight shirt and one of those weird beanie things with mini brims.
I've had a personal hatred for those stupid hats ever since they came out. They just scream asshole. On top of that, it's fucking August indoors. Asshole-caps not necessary.

Here is some basic advice I have for this kid, or maybe you if you fall into this unfortunate profile:

1) Don't be a meat head. Easy.
2) Ditch the mini brim. Easy.
3) Don't condemn your audience with sappy feminine lyrics about a girl and her eyes, doubled with power chords. It makes no sense. Easy (if you put your mind to it! ).
4) Don't continuously mention said girl in every single song. And oh, there were so many. Moderate: once you've fallen into a funk it sometime proves challenging to escape it.
5) Don't play a baby blue electric guitar. Easy/Hard, unless you have a spare one lying around that hasn't been obnoxiously tinted, this could prove difficult. Regardless: Get it done.
6) Don't sing loud, or ever. EASY
7) Don't wear bronzer....


In good news though, my boyfriend tagged along with his friends' band right after MiniBrim on saxophone, and the trio made a nicely unique sound that was easy to listen to without being boring. And that's without vocals (a welcome relief after Bronzer). Unfortunately, all of the fans who had stuck around for that awful little man ditched when he was finished playing.
I know you're thinking that they left because they were driven away by his noise, but the sad truth is that they were his fans.
Yes: This guy had total fans. One of them even commented that "He just plays guitar so well."

WHAT.


How does that happen? What happens to people that could really make them so delusional about life and what sounds good.
Fuck it being a matter of opinion, the guy sucked and that's the end of it. No opinion (other than those that are the same as mine) necessary. Some things just suck! And everyone should just suck a dick or realize it!

Endpost

Boyfrannns

I never ask for boy advice, but people come to me for advice about boys a lot.

I'm not sure if this is a problem or not, but it's something I've always done. I guess I'm just really not comfortable talking about "guy problems" because I feel like it leaves me vulnerable to looking weak and for people to judge me or think their relationships are better than mine.
And that list is ridiculous and probably not true. But whatever, I'm paranoid.

Anyway, I'm not sure if anyone really notices that I almost never talk about these things exclusively, but I do like that people feel they can come to me for advice.
Possibly I think my own self is a good enough person to confide in, if that makes sense? Like, other people seem to think my judgment is alright enough to talk about things with, so maybe I'm just really good at taking my own advice.


Yeah, I'm definitely going with that one. hahaha

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Fuck you, The Man!

I'M READY FOR SCHOOL. So ready.

I'm going to learn to cook (hopefully..) and overcome my fear of extreme heat from the oven. Whatever! I'm 20, female, and don't like cooking.

What of it, people?

It'll happen when it happens. All you COOKERS our there should be jealous of how easily I've coasted through 20 years of life, never making anything more complicated than chicken parmesan, which my mom took over for me anyway. Meaning I've also escaped many laborious hours over a hot stove which could potentially burn my skin.

People like to poke fun at this fact, but my absolute best friends at college, KC and Pallwaul (who will be mentioned numerous times in about two weeks) had to be taught by moi to cook pancakes.
Which, if you know me, is absolutely hilarious. I basically only knew how to cook pancakes by observation. Plus the fact that it's completely absurd that between three 20 year olds, not one of us had actually ever made them before.
Lame, but maybe our lack of cooking skills is a subconscious jab at The Man, who expects us to cook and be providers.
Fuck you, The Man!

Friday, August 22, 2008

The Fountainhead

Read it. Whether you like Ayn Rand or not, read this book. Take your time if you have to, or rush through it, because yeah it's long. But so worth it.
SERIOUSLY.
Or at least skip to almost toward the end when the main character Howard Roark is in a court room speaking. I won't mention why, just in case, and also because I have hope that one of my readers (which is no one but myself) will read this book.

Awesome enough to have a definite impact on how I view most things, and not in that way where the author is on some religious journey and tries to make you feel bad about yourself and your lifestyle and wants you to change.

This book is basically preaching that "selfishness" is a good thing and that our society wrongfully teaches all of us to feel bad about making ourselves happy. When really, anyone who can achieve self happiness independent of everyone else is the person who keeps life moving.

Which sounds so confusing and dumb coming from my hands, so just read the book.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Hideous Haircuts

I hate them and I refuse to get one.

Some people are so into that...?

Monday, August 18, 2008

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

SNOW

For the first time IN MY LIFE. I look forward to winter. And achingly so. I cannot wait to go snowboarding.
Don't let me fool you into thinking that I'm anything other than a moderately advanced beginner because it just wouldn't be true.
After last year's lessons and major improvements however, I feel confident and brave and wish that the Bay Family (not my family) snowboarding trip could come faster than February.
It also helps that I just bought myself my first ever actual snowboarding coat (with removable hood).
Cannot wait.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

RUN

Today was the longest I have ever run, and the BEST run EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excitement.

RC MARIO

This was shown to me a couple of months ago, and I just remembered it now, watched it again, and decided it was worthy of a blog.
:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed4CHkN-Dkw

WHAT GOES ON. Say what you wish, but I'm glad this kid sacrificed God knows how many hours to this project.
BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Bitches

If you happen to be reading this and you are above the age of 60, were at Music Fest to see Jethro Tull, and sat lawn...then you are probably a bitch.
Probably.

So last night a few of us went to see Jethro Tull live, and I don't think that A) I've ever been more scared for my life and the lives of the people I was with and B) I've ever been surrounded by more assholes.

First off, this older man behind us asked us to sit down or move from where we were standing so that he and his wife (who were sitting behind us) could see. Being almost 100% non-confrontational, I quickly made myself invisible and allowed my male counterparts to do the job for me.
The man was promptly refused his request on the grounds that we had also paid for our tickets.

You might be thinking right about now that we were sort of assholes to refuse this man vision to the front, but we were like a mile back anyway, and he was over 60...so truthfully, what exactly was he seeing? Plus, the point made was completely valid: we paid for our tickets and we were in LAWN and it was a CONCERT. Lawn is for young assholes who can't afford to sit reserved. Lawn is NOT for old fuckers who want to be arrogant, but somehow can't afford reserved seating...
really? Yes.
So anyway, this guy gets a cop and then we sort of have to move. You win old man.
Two positive things here though: 1. The cop was not an asshole (weird, right?) 2. No one was arrested.
You just don't mess with the cops, especially at a Jethro Tull concert where it sounds so silly..?

So then, during Jethro Tull's 20 minute break, our friend from VIP comes back to the lawn fence to talk to us. While we're there, some asshole 60 year old of the female variety "excuses" herself, and pushes me out of her way in a very bodily fashion. At this point I am literally standing behind, rather than with, my friends. So she just sucks. And so does her big ass husband who I thought was a woman for a full 5 seconds because his tits were so big.
Suddenly, his big face is in the face of one of my friends because my friend has been saying Fuck and varieties of the word Fuck (ex: fucking, fucker, fucked...etc) too much for Big Face's liking. So Big Face is so mad and my friend backs down. But VIP does not and I was scared for his life.
The situation is eventually calmed down and my Fuck friend apologizes (again) to Big Face as we're going back to our standing spots. But all Big Face has to say about it is, "It's a good thing you calmed your friend (VIP) down, because if you hadn't I would have laid him out."
!!!!
!????
???!!!
UHHH, WHAT. WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT TO ANYBODY ONCE THEY PASS THE AGE OF 29????!!!
oh. THAT guy.
Total D-Bag.

But then Karma came along in the form of a 60+ pot head who gave me two roaches (which I passed off...so don't anyone go calling the police on me). I had made friends with this guy earlier when I was sitting away from my group and he was laughing at them because they were loud (and drunk) and he was high and drunk.

So all-in-all. Jethro Tull fans tend to be total bitches. But only tend to be (our 60+ pot head was definite proof that not 100% of his fans are terrible people). The show was amazing and it was an awesome night. Probably the most interesting I've ever ever ever had.

Life is good.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

That Hiccuping Chick

So I'm thinking about that hiccuping chick again, and I'm going to attempt to drive home how much having 3 weeks worth of neverending hiccups would suck. They inhibit tons of things. Here are a few:

1) Hide and seek. Forget about it. Cannot happen any longer.
2) Swimming. I made that up. But I really feel like being underwater with hiccups would be really really awful and you would get water up your nose and in your mouth and possibly drown or throw up and those both suck.
3) Movies. Nope. And so many good ones came out this summer!
4) Choir. She may or may not have been a choir girl, but if she was ever thinking about it, those hiccups made the decision for her.
5) Making out. Whatever.


I'm going to stop at 5 because lists tend to get boring after 5. Feel free to add.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Olympian Smog Masks

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/olympics/article4470968.ece

Read that article, and tell me that isn't just hilarious. Yeah, the whole thing IS obnoxious, but seriously? It's just like a total bitch slap in the face to China. I don't know, I feel like the Chinese government could choose something so much more important to get "annoyed" about, but our cyclists are what got the job done, and frankly: I love it. That would be like a group of people coming to America sporting little anti-Bush pins, or something else that would be extremely obvious . And no one would care because it would be true- Bush does suck enough to have anti-Bush pins. It's just really not even a big deal at all. And China's air may well be dirty enough to sport smog masks. So no apology needed, eh?.
The whole thing just seems like such a playground situation.
Like, "hey-- China, we think your air is dirty...?"
And then of course the forced apology.

One article high light that cracked me up was that someone said that hopefully the air would be clean for the athletes when the time came. ...
.
Uhh. What does that even mean? That air is now what the air is going to be then.

Whatever folks.

He's F$CKING BEN AFFLECK

So that Sarah Silverman video shown on Jimmy Kimmel (I'm Fucking Matt Damon) was a great high light for my semester.
But here is an even better high light for my summer. Jimmy Kimmel Fucking Ben Affleck. I have to say, this one got a lot more laughs out of me (and had tons more stars). Here are my favorite high lights from the video (in no particular order)(the incredible lyrics will not be mentioned beyond this point):

1) The intimate nose-to-nose of Jimmy and Ben. That moment just really leaves you wanting more.
2) Lance Bass. Period
3) Josh Groban. I didn't think any celeb there could beat the presence of Mr Bass. But it was happened the moment I heard Josh Groban's heartfelt (and just as gorgeous) voice utter the word "fucking" numerous times...censored of course. And unfortunately.
4) Ben and Jimmy's cut off shorts? Yes please. Not to mention Affleck's shiny blue...thing...that could possibly have been a one piece. Which would be sensational

A) (I'll call this one A instead of 5 because I'm really not sure whether it's worthy of mentioning) But while viewing, I did rewind back to the moment when Cameron Diaz shows evident pleasure (so much of it!) in making a certain obscene (and censored) hand gesture.

PS- I'm not a lover of Brad Pitt, but I love that he was there. LOVE.

Today is good.

Yours can be too:
HE'S F&CKING BEN AFFLECK

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Oh yeah AND

I'll never get enough of Paris Hilton.
A) Because she's one of the most ridiculous, trashy human beings on Planet Earth (and I love it)
B) Because she quoted that ridiculous song and I find that amazing.

Oh and you'll need to watch this video to really understand what I mean at all:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8c8786f522

3 Week Hiccuping Girl

Um, WHAT!? At first I was looking at MSN news for more trashy reports about ridiculous things that no one wants to hear about. Of course, when I saw a headline involving some girl who is suing a hiccuping cure company, I didn't think I'd find anything that could beat its level of sensation.

So I clicked on the video link (listed below) and was surprised to find myself feeling downright sorry for this teenager who has been hiccuping for THREE WEEKS STRAIGHT. I mean...really? Hiccups are only ever funny for like 5 seconds. Then they become embarrassing, annoying, and eventually painful. My mom used to tell me these stories about how my grandpa would sometimes need to go to the hospital because his hiccups would be so painful.

I seriously feel bad for this little chick. I mean, if I could choose to be afflicted with something it just wouldn't ever be hiccups. Hiccups are just so silly and are hard to take seriously. Plus the fact that the whole thing sounds completely ridiculous. I would expect that most people don't even want to talk to our "victim" because it would seem so awkward and also grating on the ears.

Don't ask me what I would be afflicted with, because I just have no clue. Except for that it wouldn't ever be hiccups. Who wants to be medicated just for going to sleep?

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/17182403#17182403

After All...

So after all that excitement about the run I took with my friend, and after my acceptance of its failure, I wake up completely burned out. This was yesterday ( I couldn't even be bothered to write about it at the time). Anyway, yesterday that run just seemed to do quite a number on my mood, gave me a pulsing headache that lasted about 6 hours, and made me weak and weirdly nauseous the entire day. I thought I was getting sick with what my mom had, but that was probably because she kept insisting that these were all the symptoms she was getting before she had thrown up the day before. Thanks mom. Ever the optimist:)
Anyway, I thought it would be all over today, but I woke up this morning with strained muscles in my thigh and butt. So there's that.
I'm running anyway, because if I keep pampering myself and not going I'll never be ready for the 10K.
Plus, I've learned my lesson and won't ever be foolish enough to have a full meal before I go run. And then add 37mL of water on top of that food in a time span of about 40 minutes.

So yeah- sorry that this post was basically just me whining and talking about myself (more than usual:) )

Have a good one!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

9:09PM

Okay, so the run that I attempted tonight was just AWFUL. I am beyond disappointed in myself because I can usually pride myself on having very good endurance and not needing to make up excuses for any weaknesses while exercising. Tonight shouldn't have been any different, buttttt it was (sucks). I guess I just need to admit sometimes that my body has limitations, and as much as I'd like for my mind to help me deny this fact, there really isn't anything I can do about it.

And eating a full meal before running is the worst idea ever.

I got really awesome girl time out of the experience though, and girl time is just one of those necessary things for most women. For me at least. So in that way I'm satisfied enough to not be hating myself right now (at least not too much)

2 MORE DREAMS

I had two really satisfying dreams last night.
The first one had this girl who I absolutely hate in it, but it was really good anyway, because it was just so interesting. In the dream, we basically would just sit around with dead people in a cafeteria on the other side, and my sister had this infuriating habit of trying to impress this girl who we both really hate. So it was just cool. Since we were on "the other side."
Also, I had a dream that I was a WITCH. Like a normal person with powers. This dream must be the Universe's answer to my prayers, because even at 20 I just think that being a witch would be TOO.COOL. So in the dream witches everywhere were being prosecuted, so I was on the run with my boyfriend and his family. Which is sort of random. We found this house and the lady ended up being a witch enthusiast and she knew immediately that we were witches. Her basement was basically a hide-out, it had two doggie doors for us to crawl through when inspectors came to her house for random searches. So once they did, and we went through two rooms and ended up going through like three different sets of rooms full of doors (these rooms were pretty much exactly how I would imagine Harry Potter's Department of Mysteries door room, except these were all wooden and were rotating not just regular doors). So boyfriend, boyfriend's little brother, and I ended up being the only ones running through and we would close the doors behind us and stuff. It was really exciting and cool, because the chances of the inspectors choosing the exact set of doors that we did was almost impossible (there were 6 doors in every room). Anyway, we all also had this really cool power where we would touch our noses and concentrate just enough on a location and just end up there. And that would be too cool in real life.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Drrrrrrrrream

I had the BEST dream. It was the BEST dream because in it, I had this room full of about 10 people (and I knew all of them!) and each of them had something super and awesome to say about me! YOU ALMOST CAN'T BEAT THAT IN A DREAM.
I also had a dream before that about following all of my friends and possibly some guy to the Caribbean, and while I was there I flooded a kitchen and turned on some weird vent and couldn't figure out how to fix either problem. And some mom with a baby had to fix it for me. And yeah. I was one of the popular girls, so that was new. But rather than being bitchy we were more like the the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants or something.

I'm going to see Mamma Mia! today!!!! No one seems interested in it, but I cannot wait. I cannot wait to hear Meryl , or however it's spelled

Friday, August 1, 2008

Really?

"Week of July 28, 2008Heidi Montag arrives at an autograph signing in Beverly Hills, Calif. (July 26, 2008)."

Really? Heidi Montag REALLY signed autographs in Beverly Hills???? I'm not sure how that works, but does that mean that someone has actually paid Heidi Montag for her time? Does that mean people actually showed up? I'd assume so, since it's been categorized as news.
Which is just plain sickening. Who is Heidi Montag but a blonde American just like every other American. Except possibly thoughtlessly rich with a good-for-absolutely-nothing (especially esthetically) fiance to boot.
I'm not sure if I'm more disgusted with the fact that Heidi Montag was made to sign photographs, when she is literally a NOTHING except a Hollywood stereotype who gets plastic surgery and seems hopelessly useless as a human being just about 99% of the time, or the fact that it made news.

Those Minutes Commercials

Are those hilarious cell-phone minutes commercials by AT&T? The one with the two sons and the mom and at the kitchen sink and the husband who reads the paper. There are two of these commercials and they're both hilarious.
Anyway, I had the weirdest dream that I was the donkey-looking kid from the commercials, and I was in love with this faceless girl (what else is new, in a dream?). So this fat bitch was after her, and she came over to the hut that we were in that had dirt floors (hey, why not right?) . I have no idea why this fattie wanted anything to do with my dream girl, but she did. My girl let me know behind the fat one's back that there was a trap door somewhere in this hut we were in, and if the girl stepped on it, she would be just heavy enough to break it and fall through. Or something? I don't know. I hate that dreams are so fuzzy and hard to remember. I remember that the fat one fell through the floor, but I also get this feeling that my lady ended up being the one in the trap, and once you were inside of it there was no way of getting out. So if I ever wanted to visit her down there, which of course I would have...because I was pining for her...I would have to make sure to bring a rescue rope with me.
Anyway, it ended up that I woke up with the feeling that it was a good dream, but it sounds pretty awful in writing. Maybe my satisfaction came from having experienced being a boy and loving on a lady for the first time in my life! Hey- there's a first time for everything.

And speaking of which-- for the first time ever I was on a cancelled flight! And it SUCKED hard core. The Continental people at St. Maarten's just don't have it together, andddd they were totally abusing their customers. Like this adorable young French couple got stranded at the airport after the bus that was supposed to take them to a hotel for the night left without them.
Traveling seriously sucks. I don't know how people do it. I mean, for goodness sake I'm 20 years old and after traveling I'm just wiped out forrrr my whole entire life practically.
Here is a list of things I would need to change about myself in order to be a good traveler:
-Anxiety (just doesn't go hand in hand with the free-and-easy travel scene...not at all ideal)
-Pickiness...I have a limited menu
-Sensitive stomach...probably a combo of anxiety and pickiness
-Overpacking. I never went over the weight maximum at the airports, but it's a really bad sign that I had to worry about it at all.

Anyway, that list was a lot less fun than I wanted it to be, so I apologize for it's shortness and at how uneventful it was.