"I love raising her, I don't need to raise my own."
One day I am going to seriously explore my dedication to my younger sister, Sarah. I don't know where it comes from, because it seems to be a protective bond that surpasses my duties as "big sister." I don't enjoy many things more than watching her succeed and be completely normal. Maybe I am living vicariously through her. I want to help her to get it right, and not mess up in the same ways that Heather and I did.

Anyway, hi all...this is me procrastinating my paper on Kiki Smith. I just hit 6 pages and I need 8 so that's just fine I guess.

I love twitter.

I am looking forward to being home in less than 24-hours. It will be good to be fed real food and loved and cared about. All I want to do is snuggle with Niki. That meter is never full, can't get enough of that girl. I never thought I could forge a bond with another human being the way I have her. I hope to find that same companionship in a man that I will fall in love with some day.

What I need to know is that I will have a man to fall in love with some day. I am slowly reinstating my status as a love optimist, which is a nice feeling.

Venus tomorrow- not much to say. I've been trying to gauge all day whether I have been feeling any real emotions. I don't feel sad, which is confusing. I think I don't feel much though, which I don't like. I don't necessarily remember happy, when it isn't there it's hard to grasp. But if I were feeling it I think I would know...
Dig dig dig me outta' this hoooole.


Loopy from caffeine, back to work.





endpost.