The hardest thing for me to grasp this past year:

There's nothing wrong with my life. There's something wrong with me.

It's a struggle. It's basically a fucking war to come to terms with a charmed life coupled with a rotten mind. It is very rare for me to meet someone who is like me for the same reasons that I am.

I'm like me because I was born this way and because the chemicals I was given are just no good.

They're like me because their dads beat their moms and cheat and because they've seen alcoholism and have experienced abuse.

If I were an alcoholic, people would find it easier to accept my disease
If there was something wrong with my life, and not just me, people would believe me

Instead they all "call bullshit."

And I don't like to tell everyone about it so I write it on here instead, which seems strange.

I'm not feeling well at all