The Split: When Do They Leave and Why?

Friends.

Breakups between lovers I can understand. When I was younger and two years into a healthy relationship, I could not fathom the idea of separating from your lover. I did not understand the possibility of just not loving someone anymore. The reason for this is because I was literally misunderstanding: True lovers do not stop loving, but that does not guarantee that their love will always be in "working order." A few years and one big break up later- I get it.

Friends, on the other hand? That I just do not get. When do we get to the point where our friends stop liking us and in return, we give up on them? No self-respecting person should have to salvage herself in order to salvage a friendship. Real friends do not chase one another around, begging for love and attention. Friends should be there during the break up, they should know intuitively that even when you are not talking about it you're thinking about it. They should want to be with you when things are bad, they should love to be around you when things are amazing. They should miss you when they haven't seen you in a few days, they should want to be around you even if it means doing nothing other than staring at one another.

I do not want anyone reading this to think I am accusing them of any wrongs. This blog is for me, about me. These are my thoughts about how life gets scary when things start to change. We start getting left behind and don't understand why.

I have to say though, that the events of this past year have brought me about 3 trillion times closer to a few people.

Namely, Paul and Niki. These two people literally complete my spirit. To the point where they do not hold me down in that weird way that friends sometimes can. It goes beyond a friendship when the opinion of your friend matters, but not enough to make you not do what you want.

Example: the nose ring. Paul hated the idea and wanted me to get a stud. But because he is beyond friend and beyond family, it didn't even matter to me since I knew it wouldn't change his perception of who I am.
?
I'm really not using the proper words here.
What I'm trying to say is that I feel I have forged an intensely deep relationship with these two individuals. I am myself because of them, and without them I lose what makes me "me." This all might sound very surface and trite, but believe me when I say I never knew that such intimate friendships could be formed between people.
They have helped me realize the true meaning of soulmate.

Thoughts?



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