Today my mom told me that she wants me to 'talk to someone' because 'there is no way anyone could recover from what happened last year so quickly.'

It freaks me out when my mom shows any level of concern like this, it makes me think that I actually have something to worry about.

Which, loyal readers, you already know that I do (based on previous thoughts and posts).

Anyway, I honestly don't feel like checking in with anyone. Ever. I already have to make a follow-up appointment with the lady doctor and hope that I'm not diseased or something because Science blessed me with a vagina.

Doctors take time and stress and money. I want to focus on working and living and loving and not seeing doctors on my days off.

Truth be told I am pretty traumatized about the events that unfolded exactly now a year ago. I can't tell if it's better or worse to keep it all in and try to ignore it all. I cry about it still because the whole thing was so fucking overwhelming, and that freaks me out. The events of last year are what kept me from finishing my women's studies minor, so they're something that still affect me.

The lifestyle I lead today is directly related to all the shit that was happening before.

Anyway, I was talking to Josh about all of this and just wishing that it could be like 7 years ago instead of 1. I never want to hear about it or think about it again.