I am...

...helpless to fix the bigger picture, and it's so fucking broken. Society's level of fuckery has boxed me into a life full of extremes.... Don't trust any man you don't know. Don't trust any police officer. Every stranger is bad. There is nothing you can do. Sick of it all.

Society has tricked itself into a false sense of complacency, but it isn't our fault because there's always someone above us who wears the face of Truth but is dishonest. By the time we realize it, there are too few of us, and too much time has passed, and it takes three times as long (at least) to unlearn the falsehoods.

Day4

Call call call call and don't do it while I'm at work, or if I'm at work leave a detailed voicemail.

These two, plus Paul (duh), are the people I have seen most after graduation. Yesterday Josh, Megan, and TADDEO and I went to a show at the Art Space in Bethlehem. It was ear-ringing loud and kind of weird but having Taddeo there was the best surprise~

With the change of season, my moods have been impressively ~unpredictable~

I seriously need to get in touch with my therapist.

It's been so bad that I am considering medication to stabilize my moods. To clarify: it isn't bad in the way that I would feel the need to bring harm to myself, but bad in the way that it has the capacity to affect important relationships in my life as well as my work performance.

The person I've been for the past few days is not the same person I was like 3 weeks ago and it is freaking me the fuck out.

Also, at work yesterday I walked into something so hard that it cut open my skin. The new cut is an exact mirror of an old 'cut' that was just beginning to shrink. Go fucking figure, forever scarred.

**WARNING TMI**

Why the hell is my period always faking me out...

!??!??!?

I h8chu d00d!

I am so fucking lucky to have my partner as my partner.

My upcoming weeks: Josh says we can either go to CT for the night on Friday or go to NYC on my birthday for a rally supporting Planned Parenthood. I say we are going to both, so that I have two really exciting things to look forward to!

Also, CT is a must because I need to go to Fuel and get a bagel with vegan cream cheese +cucumber+tomato ~~~~

It's a good day for a walk in CANVAS SHOES and maybe even reading outside

'I'm not going to flake out on you' is all I need to hear for a while.

This Valentine's Day was a success because 50% of it already happened, now I just need to finish up my the mini-gifts coming from my end.

'Body positive' is such a foreign concept, at least in the way that is real

http://syoung2.livejournal.com/

Just one more forum to post gratuitous pictures of lil' old me

I think that Orion is probably considered 'hot' by cat standards.

I have no plans, and therefore, no future, and also, no home

Yesterday I

found my copy of The New Testament and put it out with the trash

I am going to post on here more because no one else updates their blogs and at least this way I can go back and read my own posts.

Today was super productive ALREADY because I painted, walked for 30 minutes, AND downsized/used my Netflix account

I wish coffee didn't taste like coffee juice once it gets cold

Also, I just called to schedule a ~therapy session~ but the office is fucking CLOSED. Come on ya'll, how are the crazies supposed to get the help they need??
*That was insensitive of me.*

But seriously.

Anyway, I guess this leads me to the thought that I shouldn't call people 'crazies' just because I am one.
Also, I wish the people around me would stop making jokes about slitting wrists and cutting themselves because it makes me really uncomfortable/makes me want to puke/makes me want to cry when I think about my parents/dredges up unpleasant memories.

PLANNED PARENTHOOD is also closed.

Alright well, see you guys l8r

Headaches make me tired and UGLY

Painting again while under the influence of a book revolving around Kiki Smith is AMAZING. I feel like new life has been breathed into my entire existence.
Which, thank fucking Whoever because I needed it. I also just emailed a professor about good books on Jenny Saville.
I love these gritty women the most.

In other news, going to the lady-doctor AGAIN because nature hates me since I am a woman.

This post is stupid but I needed something to do.

Oh right and WE ARE GOING TO TEXAS.
~CHAOS IN TEJAS 2011~~~~~~~~~~