I get to a point where I am so overwhelmed that I try to put on the brakes and make it all leave. And that just exacerbates things and it's a total mindfuck because when my instincts are wrong things get confusing.

Things I don't Understand:
1. Myself. And also the fact that I think I understand myself better than a lot of other people. Does it take being completely psycho to reach this type of almost-understanding or what?? Idgi

2. This weather and why it makes me feel shitty and why it is completely useless except for to make me feel shitty and make my feet wet.

3. Why my bedroom always reflects how I'm feeling (disorganized, messy, ridiculous, pathetic).

4. Why I crave endless patience from everyone else, but I lack it for everyone else.
*I think this potentially makes me a bad person



I am tired of being the most selfish person in my life, and I thought I was getting better at not being that way but I was wrong.



endpost.