Can't stop watching Desperate Housewives and thinking of hairy armpits and how it would be such a controversy to them. Hello what is my problem where is my mind, why is my brain thinking about hairy armpits.

Hello, world.

Still hanging in there. Feeling like things are slowly GRINDING into place. Positivity hasn't fallen into my lap since high school, but that's not to say things aren't still grinding along to where they should be.

In the best news: I signed up for Ruby Tuesday's coupons and I've gotten two B1g1 coups so far boobooboobooyeah!

These past two years have been the worst two years of my life.

I didn't think anything could top 2010 and then 2011 happened. Too much has been lost, and I feel like my identity went with it and possibly my relationships are disappearing too.

I'm afraid of 2012, instead of optimistic. 2012 is only months away and things haven't turn around yet. I don't want to have three of the worst years of my life and counting.

Josh went away last weekend and it ended up being a very positive experience for me to spend some time with myself. I’ve been struggling with relying on myself as a source of happiness since college, but this past week I felt like I was starting to get some of my self worth back.

It’s a pretty amazing feeling. I’m parts excited/energized/scared that it’s a fluke, but it’s a good start to a change that needs to happen. I have a bad habit of distracting myself from my unhappiness, rather than looking to the source (me) and trying to fix it. A new job and my own apartment will be awesome, but can’t be relied on to fix my generally negative attitude.

It’s also very sad that I didn’t realize all of those positive things were missing from my life until so recently.

So there’s that.

MISERABLE

JUST LIKE EVERYBODY FUCKING ELSE

Things like murder/rape/abuse/ableism are not and WILL NEVER be funny.

CUT THE FUCKING SHIT PEOPLE.

I will never, ever agree with the comedic school of thought. It is a COMPLETE COP OUT to hide behind 'FUNNY.'

Never before has my body experienced a physical reaction to the shock and rage I felt when seeing someone #MURDER as a joke on my Facebook. I responded and then took it down because it isn't even worth my emotional well being and I shouldn't have to tell people that I lost someone recently to MURDER because it shouldn't have been there in the first place.

I feel like my eyes are going to fall out of my face. My fingers went completely numb and tingly. Give me a toilet to barf in.

I'm quickly becoming someone who cuts people out of their lives because I refuse to deal with the shit and you can't teach people who refuse to be educated.

Taking a hard stance from this day forth.

Shitty nights lead to shitty mornings and work is going to be shit today because it's Sunday