I want what I want.

Congratulations you, you made it a whole year from the time when you sunk to rock bottom

Crying about nothing and everything gets old fast

I'm back to that bleak point of existence where foreign thoughts start dictating strange futures...all negative. Thankfully (?) I know from experience that the futures predicted are all false. There will be no more desperate moments and ugly scars- which, by the way mom, are way worse than any tattoo.

I'm only back there sometimes.

Sometimes I'm back there because I am so terrified of being back there.

And when I do go back, it isn't quite the same 'back'

Now I am almost completely without a line, because I am working for 'real life' from 'real life.' It's a much different perspective.

I should have...why did I....maybe if I...

These are useless, harmful thoughts.

This morning

I woke with no 'bing'

And with the same bad taste that was there before

I can't find my diary

So I will take the opportunity to blubber about my embarrassing first world problems right here.

I am so sick lately of feeling like everything in my life is a struggle. I can't even maintain friendships without having to work to do it. What is that? What is going on? Work is fine but it's retail and it's disorganized.

I don't make enough money, I can't move out, I can't stand so many grown people under one roof.

I can't even find my fucking diary to have a real vent about everything I'm thinking. What if I left it somewhere stupid and now someone somewhere knows all the dumb things I cry about?

Anything and everything can set me off recently.

Wait, I'm confused

Do I miss my hair?