This morning I googled "I pick my scalp" and a support group came up! Thought I was the only one, so that was cool.

I hate it when it's too hot to even just sit outside. It makes me feel lazy and strange.

I think that today I have a case of the moody blues, I am just so down in the dumps even though the sky is awesome pretty blue and I have lots of plans that should feel fun and exciting but aren't.

Wah, the Debbiest Downer

hunger

I feel lost and I have no way of fixing it, except for to continue living and breathing and doing and trying.

I feel lost and sometimes I'm okay with it and sometimes it's the turned-around kind of lost that's confusing and scary and seems like it won't ever go away

And I want to do it differently than it was done before

And so I have no real model

Because I can't see the future

Not that I would want to

Weddings are so weird.

BAD NEWS EVERYONE. MY SISTER IS ANTI-CHOICE. WHAT THE HELL. HOW. HOW. HOW. HOW.

SHE FEELS BAD FOR THE BABY.

IF I WAS PREGNANT SHE WOULD "WANT ME" TO PUT IT UP FOR ADOPTION.

HUH

WHY

WHAT'S THE POINT

I'M A PERSON TOO RIGHT!?!?

IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS

Strange dreams about my dad being so pumped on how so many people love the Beach Boys and shaving my head.

....

MANIC DREAMS RULE BECAUSE THEY MAKE NO SEEENSE WHEEEHEHE

To Do.

1. Get a part-time job

2. Get another one

3. Save half of all pay checks for something important and awesome. Like opening something with Josh and Megan or starting a program. Something

4. Be trained as an abortion doula

5. Be trained as a birthing doula

6. Be paid by someone to be a birthing doula

7. Move out

8. Get involved with NARAL

9. Go through Green Dots volunteer training in Hackettstown