The Halloween experience. Pretttty gooood year. Wish there was more documentation. My bad.
:

:

^Obviously every piercing I've had done was in preparation for this costume.

Also, my hair is about 3000x longer than I could have ever believed.


endpost.

Things I never thought I'd be but I am anyway:

1. Someone who enjoys recreational drug use
2. Single
3. A totally clueless human being
4. INEXPERIENCED in the worst ways
5. Graduating late
6. On the road to vegetarianism
7

7
7
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7. One of those girls who goes for the douchebag instead of the nice guy

For the past month or so I've really been struggling with the idea of marriage.
Until that time, I. loved. marriage. And weddings. Now I'm a little bit grossed out by all of it.

Obviously, I have always been mortified at the injustice of banning homosexuals from the institution of marriage. But recently, that feeling grew HUGE until I just got so disgusted at the thought of celebrating my wedding with people who can't celebrate theirs.
Freaks me out. A lot. I wanted to scream and shout.

Anyway. I also came to this weird life conclusion that I am never going to find someone. I am, however, anticipating a good deal of "great loves."
Possibly, this is my way of protecting my lonely lil' heart from itself.
Possibly not.
It's just so much better to not have the expectation of being married. Because if I expect myself to, and then I don't.... I'll just hate myself so much. SO much

This is kind of like when I realized I was never going to be a teacher because I fucking hate children andddd teenagers anddd parents andddd I felt a lot better about having a sort of aimless future full of art and part-time jobs, rather than forcing myself into this square shaped existence that I don't quite fit into.
....This whole love(S) thing has made me feel a lot better about, at least in that department. Because I can't even fathom ever finding someone who would love me enough and in that way I guess. (Trust issue?) So. They can all just leave me when they feel free to be free. This philosophy makes me feel a lot more comfortable and perfect in the situation I'm in right now.

If I always anticipate the end, then maybe I will be okay when it comes? Since it isn't actually an end to anything at all.

so ignorance is bliss now
so there's that
that's that

So anyway, I guess I'll lighten the mood now with this really pretty triptych.











endpost.

Today I learned about Reptilians. So that was pretty interesting and only a little bit scary.

You hate me because I know more about living than you do. And I barely know how to live. And at least I'm trying.


AND YOU WOULD KNOW IF YOU EVEN FUCKING BOTHERED.
HATE ME
HATE ME
HATE ME

And so I guess I'm saying that my whole being now is just trying to find people who matter.
Since you ain't worth a shit

Hey so yeah I'm a senior and yeah I think I'm switching minors cool.
Women's studies. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEMOMANDDAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It would mean. a . fucking. lot. The world actually. Since it pertains to my art which pertains to my happiness, which is sort of everything. Right???



endpost.

Dangerous Curves Ahead