My vision for the third painting happens to look exactly like cancer cells. I am possessed or something.
endpost.
sketchsteph/
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Okay. Wow. I'm sorry.
So I've gotten back to a better level of sanity than I was at for a majority of last night. I'm nowhere near where I was two days ago, which was a good place....but I can feel that I'm somewhere close. I'll come back soon I hope. I'm scared that the doctor will be angry with me for falling off the horse.
She's very intimidating, you know.
Venus will be disappointed and maybe confused. She'll probably freak me out again like she did last time.
What I experienced last night was unlike anything I have ever experienced before. It was terrible and out of control. It ended up lasting for over 2 hours. I was nowhere to be found, I don't know who that was.
It took three long conversations. Laying in one bed and human contact with someone in my own for me to breathe. Breathe. Breathe. It's still clinging on the edges, when I think about it too much breath is short and my chest hurts. I get dizzy and afraid of falling back where I fell.
I need to call my mom.
endpost.
So I've gotten back to a better level of sanity than I was at for a majority of last night. I'm nowhere near where I was two days ago, which was a good place....but I can feel that I'm somewhere close. I'll come back soon I hope. I'm scared that the doctor will be angry with me for falling off the horse.
She's very intimidating, you know.
Venus will be disappointed and maybe confused. She'll probably freak me out again like she did last time.
What I experienced last night was unlike anything I have ever experienced before. It was terrible and out of control. It ended up lasting for over 2 hours. I was nowhere to be found, I don't know who that was.
It took three long conversations. Laying in one bed and human contact with someone in my own for me to breathe. Breathe. Breathe. It's still clinging on the edges, when I think about it too much breath is short and my chest hurts. I get dizzy and afraid of falling back where I fell.
I need to call my mom.
endpost.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Done.
Instead of experiencing pride for making the right choice, I experienced a 1-hour panic attack. I was a pathetic site to see. I took a shower to make me feel better and I cried. I can't stand being reminded that I am a loose cannon.
I didn't take them at the usual time and this is what happened...I didn't realize the treatment was so day-to-day. I feel like I did before. Which is to say, someone other than myself. Which is just pure torture and I want to scream and puke and lay on the ground and sleep.
Hahahaha.
I'm totally off my fucking rocker.
I'm totally off my fucking rocker.
Instead of experiencing pride for making the right choice, I experienced a 1-hour panic attack. I was a pathetic site to see. I took a shower to make me feel better and I cried. I can't stand being reminded that I am a loose cannon.
I didn't take them at the usual time and this is what happened...I didn't realize the treatment was so day-to-day. I feel like I did before. Which is to say, someone other than myself. Which is just pure torture and I want to scream and puke and lay on the ground and sleep.
Hahahaha.
I'm totally off my fucking rocker.
I'm totally off my fucking rocker.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)