My homework from Venus this week is to figure out where the panic attacks are coming from and how I work through them. Easier said than done, since they don't even seem real once they're over. Can't it just be as simple as they go away because that's how time works?
I'm not sure that's the answer she's looking for.

I'm also supposed to write nice things to myself in my diary, instead of what I write now. Only a possibility at this point. Haha.


Wednesdays=0 Sunlight Hours Boo:(

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First day of counseling tomorrow.

Pick pick picking pick pick. Recede. Stop.
Pick pick. Stop.
Pick pick pick pick. Recede. Stop.
Pick.

I had this dream that I was trapped. Elevator. Doors closed, no escape in sight. Loss of breath, air, loss of logic and sensibility. Animal panic. Dreams magnifying daylight emotions.

Play it Cool- Text snubbing

I won't go into any sort of detail about our Era and digital technology and advancements and what not.
All I want to know is why I (and maybe you) value texting conversations so much.
For me, not responding to a text is a sort of insult. It also hurts my feelings, depending on who it comes from (mostly boys).
I just can't imagine myself not responding to a message someone has sent me, unless I didn't want that person to be a part of my life. Especially if someone has messaged me a question.
What good does it get us to ignore people via text?

Or really, what good does it get us to get upset about people ignoring texts?

Single life is fun and exciting but it's turned me into a total love SQUARE.



ENDPOST.

A Series of Small Kisses

The rules may not be certain, but there are rules. "Hooking up" with a guy at a party has become such common practice for most that it may or may not mean anything and it doesn't really matter either way. It's for fun and it probably isn't anything too serious.
Of course, I have almost no experience in this particular practice, so who am I to say? Maybe I'm getting it wrong.
I mean, I'm sure there are feelings involved. At the very least, sexually involved emotions.

Anyway, the reason I mention this is because I'm wondering what a series of small kisses could mean?
Why do some people opt out of a full on and very attainable make-out session and choose these gentler kisses instead? Are these kisses more special because they are so uncommon? Do they mean more, if anything?

Advanced Painting and My Feminist Philosophies

I am PUMPED PUMPED PUMPED for my advanced painting course. I had the first class this morning. It's a small studio class, with only 7 other women. I think it is going to be an incredible learning experience, as well as a convenient time for exploration of self.

My teacher wants us to develop ideas about where our paintings will take us throughout the semester. Naturally, my first thoughts were to center my pieces around feminism and my feminist philosophy.
For my first painting I am going to do an exploration on the very huge and very bizarre issue of WHY someone else gets to decide what women do with their bodies.

What makes it bizarre is that those "someone elses" are generally older white males who are not having children anytime soon and are MALES. These are the people suggesting and enforcing laws that prevent young women from exercising their personal rights. Totally gross and scary. Ouch.

In the painting I am going to do my best to allude to something uterine and possibly the idea of woman as just a "carrier" who is being dehumanized. The latter might be reserved for a second painting however, because that is its own separate issue.

Anyway, I think that this is going to be GREAT GREAT OPPORTUNITY for me to learn something about myself, learn a lot about other people, and really solidify how I feel about most things concerning feminism and the right to choice.

WORD.

Anyway-- I'd like all of your opinions and suggestions on ways to approach these ideas.

As a general list, I've written down certain things that I would like to create a visual "conversation" about. Such as my own feelings on pregnancy, the idea of overpopulation and the wrongs of having too many children, an exploration of what life is and who deserves to be honored in life, SOMETHING about Gray's Anatomy and approaching the uterus/fetus/embryo from a strictly scientific standpoint.

Basically: CHOICE.

What are ya'll thinking?? Criticisms or applaud are welcome. SERIOUSLY. If my paintings could also convey the feelings of others that would be a wonder...
;)

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