Josh went away last weekend and it ended up being a very positive experience for me to spend some time with myself. I’ve been struggling with relying on myself as a source of happiness since college, but this past week I felt like I was starting to get some of my self worth back.

It’s a pretty amazing feeling. I’m parts excited/energized/scared that it’s a fluke, but it’s a good start to a change that needs to happen. I have a bad habit of distracting myself from my unhappiness, rather than looking to the source (me) and trying to fix it. A new job and my own apartment will be awesome, but can’t be relied on to fix my generally negative attitude.

It’s also very sad that I didn’t realize all of those positive things were missing from my life until so recently.

So there’s that.