My room is always a wreck and I'm not even the type of person who feels okay with living in a room that looks this way.
My life feels like it's at a fucking dead end, or else that there are too many options of where to go next and so either way I just sit. I don't want to hear what anyone has to say because they never say what I want to hear and I can't help myself because I don't know what I want to hear.
What I know: I am tired, I am melancholy, I am confused, I am impatient to not feel these things.

I feel loyal to the job I have and to the people I work with, but what if this job is what's stopping me from doing anything beneficial for myself?
I have nowhere to go and no one to go with even if I had the means to leave.
So sometimes I ask myself what would be the point in leaving

I think I also feel pissed off.

I look like a piece of shit when I cry.